I'm a twenty-something, post gastric bypass, divorcee looking for love. I'm starting this blog not only to share my dating misadventures (and to provide me and my friends a good laugh for years to come), but to also document my journey of self growth, awareness, and discovery that is sure to come while looking for that perfect someone.
Catching Elephant is a theme by Andy Taylor
What if I told you...
Guru: So tell me what's wrong here, what's missing from your diet?
Me: I know, I know...fruits and vegetables.
Guru: I know getting enough protein is critical for someone who's had gastric bypass but you really need the vitamins, minerals, and all the rest of the good stuff fruits & veggies have.
Me: It's not that I don't like them, I just have a hard time incorporating them into my diet.
Guru: Would it motivate you if I told you they will give you more energy and ,ake you look and feel healthier?
Me: I guess....maybe...
Guru: What if I told you eating fruit will attract men to you?
Me: Then I'd immediately regret not adding raspberries to my morning yogurt.
Guru: I'd also like to inform you veggies would make your excess skin disappear.
Me: Any vegetable?
Guru: No, candy corn doesn't count.
Me: Hrmm...can I still drink Dr. Pepper while eating baby carrots? Or will that cancel out the skin-disappearing benefits of eating the veggie?
Guru: You know that Dr. Pepper isn't a real doctor, right?
Me: Blasphemy!
Guru: Ok, then we'll work on curbing your soda addiction another day.
01/14/11, via conversation
Unfortunately marriage between a human and a soda is illegal.
Dr. Pepper, 11/15/11, via Twitter @drpepper
