February 2011
28 posts
2 tags
“When I was a kid, most of the advice that my dad gave me was crap. But...”
– Reed Bennett, Valentine’s Day
2 tags
“There you have it, folks. Young love. Full of promise, full of hope, ignorant of...”
– Male Anchor, Valentine’s Day
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“Dr. Copeland: What’s there to hate?
Julia Fitzpatrick: Nothing, if...”
– Valentine’s Day
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“Karah Monahan: I have my best friend, Candy.
Kelvin Moore: Oh, that’s...”
– Valentine’s Day
2 tags
“They invented hugs to let people know you love them without saying anything.”
– Bil Keane
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“Natalie: I’d ask you in, but it’s too soon.
Henry: We’ve...”
– Next to Normal
2 tags
“You can’t hurt me. Westley and I are joined by the bonds of love. And you...”
– Buttercup; The Princess Bride
3 tags
5 tags
Netflix can come in handy
Me: yea it's good
Me: but seriously, do be careful
Cupcake: oh i know.
Cupcake: odds are i might get hurt
Me: well i know you know, but it doesn't mean you're heart is accepting it
Cupcake: but my therapist says if you dont want to hurt you better hide in your house with a damn good netflix subscription haha
01/13/11, 11;02 PM, via IM
5 tags
4 tags
I know what you need...
(talking about wants vs needs)
Me: I mean, I know what I want, but I don't know what I need.
My Person: I know exactly what you need.
Me: Yea?
My Person: You need to get laid. Stat.
October '10, via conversation
3 tags
Laughing at you
Me: it's been 24 hours since i last heard from him. unacceptable.
Me: lol
Demi: I am so laughing at you
Me: i so deserve it
Demi: I have never, in all my life, sat waiting for a guy to call or email me
Me: yea, well, that's why i'm lame and you aren't haha
Demi: you are not lame
Demi: but you are entertaining, esp right now
01/11/10, 10;26 PM, via IM
3 tags
Next!
Me: The dating pool kind of ebbs and flows. Weeks will go by without so much as a wink and then suddenly I have 3 dates in just as many days.
Frenchie: Ugh that has to be incredibly frustrating
Me: Yea, it makes it hard. I mean, I've been emailing this one guy and feel like I have this great connection but what if it fizzles out or he never gets around to asking me out. Like, this other guy has started talking to me but I kind of feel attached to the first guy because we've shared such a connection over email. I just don't want to waste my time if nothing is going to come of it and ignore guy #2 when he may be the one I'm actually supposed to be with...
Frenchie: And why aren't you just dating both?
Me: I don't know, I guess I kind of feel guilty. I'm not very good at dating multiple people at once.
Frenchie: You shouldn't feel guilty. Feel empowered.
Me: Haha, well, I just wish I could queue them all up in a line and date them one at a time--at my speed. I need a dating ticketing system!
Frenchie: *Laughs* You should start telling guys to take a number!
Me: That would be amazing. I can date them, then when I'm done, I can move on.
Frenchie: Number 17?! 17????
Me: Oh...number 17, you don't like dogs? NEXT!
01/10/11, via Conversation
4 tags
3 tags
There's an App for that
Me: Oh my God! He's a fucking Virgin! A VIRGIN!
Jersey Girl: *Laughs* You're kidding, right?!
Me: NO!
Jersey Girl: *Laughs Harder*
Me: You know what the sad thing is? He's got a HUGE dick and he doesn't even know how to use it! A waste!
Jersey Girl: Tell him to get an iPhone.
Me: How would that help?
Jersey Girl: I'm pretty sure Apple has an App for that
11/12/10, via Phone Call
3 tags
4 tags
Warning
Dukey: too bad theres not a way for u to put a red flag next to his profile online to warn people
Me: Oh no joke, I'd put red flags on half these peoples profiles lol
01/02/11, 5;11 PM, via text message
3 tags
Gold Digging Ho
Me: Ok so someone who has their bachelors, a masters, almost done with law school and is in the process of a second masters either has a ton of money or a shit load of debt, right? Which one do you think this guy has lol
Cupcake: Haha hmmm with our luck he's in epic debt, right? haha
Me: Hmmm I'm going to gamble on lots of money. I haven't checked "be a gold digging Ho" off my list yet
01/02/11, 2;45 PM, via text message
3 tags
Moving On
Me: Does it make me a bad person if I've been sending emails to guys and browsing eHarmony/Match for the last 2 hours while Mr. Viagra is passed out sleeping next to me?
Cupcake: Hahaha nope. I fully support that
01/01/11, 11;27 PM, via text message
3 tags
Jiminy Cricket
Me: I love you Hahaha you're my Jiminy Cricket
Cupcake: Haha when you wish upon a star...Haha no, im your cynical cricket. Cuz star wishing isn't gonna solve shit haha
12/26/10, 12;48 PM, via text message
3 tags
Cooking skills
Cupcake: OH!!! how was his cooking??
Me: Fabulous! He can make minute rice and reheat his moms meals like a boss
12/22/10, 10;24 AM, via text message
5 tags
super creeper move
Cupcake: hahaha i cant believe you posted the phone call
Cupcake: thats kind of horribly cruel hahaha
Me: i bleeped out his name!
Cupcake: youre too thoughtful
Cupcake: hahaha
Me: HAHAHA
Me: oh well, he can suck it
***Some time passes and I facebook stalk him***
Me: OMG OMG, the pic he has on his facebook page is the pic of me and him, but with me cut out
Me: he didn't delete that shit!?
Cupcake: HA
Cupcake: seriously?!
Cupcake: this is virgin boy?
Me: now i have NO remorse for posting that voicemail
Me: yes!
Cupcake: ok yea thats a super creeper move
01/13/11, 9;35 PM, via IM
3 tags
Raising the bar
Me: Vman still hasn't called so i think that ship has sailed
Dukey: Dang!
Me: Whatever, I've learned that I'm good enough now to attract douches so at least I'm more confident and my standards are higher
Dukey: well that works lol
12/26/10, 5;24 PM, via text message
4 tags
“So someone sent me a really sweet email and it’s got me grinning....”
– Me to Cupcake; 01/02/11, 4:11 PM, via text message
4 tags
Wine Goggles
Me: He has high hopes for a guy with performance issues
Dukey: Ah...well fuckwad sounds about right then lol
Me: Plus he walks like a turtle
Dukey: the hell? lol
Me: Oh, and I think he was wearing the guy version of mom jeans
Dukey: omg!
Me: Yes...I don't know how I allowed myself to get to date 3
Dukey: oh man...
Me: I think dark bar and alcohol combined with dark living room and alcohol equals WTF when you finally see someone in daylight while sober
Dukey: LMAO could be
01/01/11, 5;01 PM, via text message
3 tags
“I don’t usually shave for first dates to keep me tame…now I remember...”
– Me to Dukey; 12/30/10, 9:11 AM, via text message
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One thing led to another...
Me: Our second kiss kind of turned into making out which kind of turned into sex. But the good news is he's a great kisser and the sex was really really great too.
Cupcake: Hahaha well yay for good sex!! Umm i held [my date's] hand. Haha I think you win
Me: Yea but I was totally trying to restrain myself. I lose.
12/22/10, 10;24 AM, via text message
